The Dark, Dreaded Thoughts of ‘What If’
Posted on July 22, 2013
Nothing has turned out the way I imagined they would when I was a child. Nothing is familiar to me. I miss the innocence of my childhood. Sometimes, unable to restrain myself, I wander around searching for my wild, carefree imagination. Wrapped in silence I grasp for one more draw to feel that high I once got from my dreams, from thoughts of my childhood even.
I loved falling asleep to the chirping of crickets and croaks of bullfrogs. A lone stalk tip-toeing around lily pads as raindrops dotted the pond are all treasures I took for granted. Now the only sounds I hear are loud and unruly thoughts of struggle, confusion, and what-ifs.
What if you didn’t become who you thought you’d be? Is there still a chance you can become that person? You know, the successful, healthy, happy, world traveller. But what if your childhood picture of the future you, is not who you were meant to become, then what?!
Life goes on I tell myself. Accept who you are. Believe you are who God created you to be right in this moment and ask His help to be an even better person. Be the best you possible, I try to convince myself.
BUT, what it (swallow hard)…What If?